Coadă la pâine

Vreau să ne amintim puțin de perioada comunistă. În general, când se încumetă să analizeze diferite aspecte specifice acelor vremi, o bună parte dintre compatrioți tind să treacă în revistă numai lucrurile neplăcute petrecute în acest regim. Însă eu vreau să rememorez lucrurile frumoase din perioada comunistă. De exemplu, cozile la pâine. Știu că pe vremea aia, în București lumea se plângea de cozile la carne. Fiind dintr-un orășel de provincie, pe noi ne-a ferit Dumnezeu de cozile la carne. La noi, carne nu văzuse nici primaru’. Noi aveam cozile la pâine.

Pentru a putea intra în posesia alimentului mai sus menționat, erai invitat la o așteptare care, de obicei, dura 3-3,5 ore. Coada începea să se formeze în jurul orei 12:00 și abia după ora 15:00 se deschidea buticul. Aproape niciodată nu ajungea tuturor, așa că trebuia să te așezi la rând cât mai devreme, pentru a fi sigur că la finalul expediției vei duce acasă în traistă celebrul aliment, supranumit și „cel de toate zilele”. Însă erau și zile cu program mai încărcat, când coada începea să se formeze pe la ora 11:00, și ajungea să se dea pâine aproape de ora 16:00.

Practic, cât stăteai la coadă la pâine, aveai timp s-o combini pe una, să te desparți de ea, apoi iar să vă împăcați. Tatonarea specifică începutului amoros decurgea în felul următor:

EL: Ce faci, pisi? Ai venit să iei pâineee?

EA: Nuuu. Caviaaar.

EL: Aaa! Da’ treci în fața mea, ca să pot fi eu în spatele tău. (Ochii adânc înfipți în posteriorul colegei de așteptare.)

Mă așezam și eu, câteodată cam târziu (fie pentru că uitam să mai vin de la fotbal, fie pentru că nu mă entuziasma ideea de-a sta vreo 4 ore nemișcat), la astfel de cozi. Când aceste evenimente erau în desfășurare, aveam respectabila vârstă de 4 ani și jumătate. Probabil vă întrebați ce căutăm eu în acest mediu, nefiind unul prea ofertant pentru un copil – ai mei erau la lucru, iar cartela (cea pe care era specificată rația de pâine la care aveai dreptul – jumătate de pâine pe zi) nu putea fi delegată unei alte persoane care deja era așezată la rând. Se petrecea un troc simplu, matematic. O tranzacție pe cap de vită furajată. Câte o vită în spatele fiecărei cartele, iar această regulă nu putea fi încălcată deoarece când ajungeai la tejghea, vânzătoarea (Dumnezeu, pe vremea aia) întreba: „Unde-i vita? Nu văd vita, nu dau pâne”. Așadar, prezența unui membru din familie era obligatorie.

La ora 16:00, când se înapoiau ai mei de la lucru, era deja prea târziu. Era după finalul meciului: se strângeau plasele de la porți. Bătălia era deja dată. Mai puteai zări doar câțiva răniți pe câmpul unde fusese adineauri înfruntarea. Câteva lănci împrăștiate, scuturi abandonate, coifuri îndoite și arcuri rupte, toate acompaniate de norișori de fum ce părăseau domol solul, ca ceața suprafața lucie a lacurilor în diminețile răcoroase. Se mai întrezărea câte-un rănit tărăgănindu-și piciorul spre o destinație nici de el știută, un altul cocoșat, cu fața schimonosită, înfigând parcă cu ură ghearele în propriul abdomen, strângându-și stomacul în zona splinei. Și încă doi camarazi cărându-l pe al treilea pe o targă. Daa… era târziu. Foarte târziu. Trebuia să fie cineva acolo înainte ca acest decor să se înfăptuiască, înainte de ora 16:00.

Ajung la locul faptei în jurul orei 11. Nu e nimeni. Mi-e rușine să mă pun primul. Mă întorc pe la 11:45. Începuse să se adune lume. Era momentul să intru în rând. După vreo două ore fără să se înainteze vreun pas – mulțimea făcând un continuu stretching pe loc -, se zărește o femeie (poate vânzătoarea) intrând prin spatele magazinului. Agitație, balansări pe vârfurile picioarelor, priviri curioase și nerăbdătoare aruncate peste umărul celui din față, murmur, însă… alarmă falsă. Venise doar să ia ceva. Închide și se întoarce grăbită în fabrică.

Mai trec câteva zeci de minute, sau ore (niciodată nu-ți puteai da seama – timpul avea o desfășurare ciudată aici, ca-n somnul scurt, neplănuit, de după-amiază: la trezire, pe moment, văzând lumină afară, nu-ți dai seama dacă ai dormit 15 minute sau două zile), dar, până la urmă, iată că se apropie ora. Gloata adunată, simțind miros de sânge (sau de pâine, în cazul de față), începe să freamăte. Încep pe rând, într-un crescendo accelerat: atingeri, înghesuieli, șicanări, ghionturi, îmbrânceli… Rezist. Eram deja mare acum. Avem câteva palme bune peste genunchiul celorlalți. Deodată, aerul, și așa înăbușit, se scurge brusc ca dintr-un balon eliberat pe neașteptate. S-a deschis!

Îmbulzeala atinge cote maxime. Oamenii, cu ură în priviri, se împing și se trag unii pe alții. Deja se poate spune că-i bătaie. Dezorientat, tocmai când simt că nu mai pot respira, aud, tămăduitor, o voce: „Băăă! Nu mai împingeți, BĂĂĂ! E un copil aici!!”

De fapt, nici nu știu cu siguranță dacă a existat vreodată vocea respectivă, sau era doar în capul meu din dorința arzătoare ca ea să existe, însă eu și acum o mai aud.

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